First of all, Lee doesn't really have any "cake pans" to speak of. The best I could come up with was a big rectangular glass pyrex deal, which kind of threw my whole glorious two-layer cake idea out the window from the outset. But OK, we make do with what we have. Because I'm insane, I called my mom to make sure a glass pan would work just as well as a metal one, because all the little cartoon pans drawn on the cake mix box appeared to be made out of metal. She assured me that this was ok.
Also, Lee doesn't have an electric mixer, or even a whisk, so I had to make do with a wooden spoon. I stirred and stirred and stirred and stirred. There were many lumps in the cake batter. I called Lee. "If your cake is lumpy, it is because you don't own a whisk and you are useless. Thanks for ruining everything." He suggested that I use a fork. He thinks he's so smart.
The fork took care of most of the lumps, so I was riding pretty high on my success-in-the-face-of-adversity when I joyfully poured the batter in the pan. Hm. Something seemed wrong. I think... I forgot to oil the pan. Alright, don't panic. (I told myself.) Thinking fast, I took the spoon and shoved all the batter to one side of the pan. Of course, Lee didn't have any cooking spray or anything, so I took out some vegetable oil and kind of... drizzled it into the pan. OK, no problem. Shove all the batter to the other side, and it appears to be... sitting in a puddle of vegetable oil. That's not quite what I intended, but alright, soldier on. I did the other side, spread all the batter out, tried to ignore the 1/2 inch fringe of vegetable oil floating around the edges, and apprehensively placed the pan in the oven.
I licked the spoon (and possibly the bowl) to calm my fears while it cooked.
When the timer went off, I went to check on it and - By God! - that cake looked beautiful. It was golden brown, and it sure as damn wasn't sticking to anything, I'll tell you that much. I let it cool for a bit while I contemplated my next move. Things were going so well, I thought maybe I could have a layer cake after all. I mean, what is a rectangle, if not 2 squares? I could cut the rectangular cake in half, stack the two squares, ice it, and no one would know the difference. (Foreshadowing!)
So, I did that and... well... one of the things that makes cakes so easy to frost is the fact that they have that golden brown skin on the outside of them. Once you cut the cake in half, like I did, you sort of lose that advantage. The frosting wasn't sticking in a lot of places, and there were cake chunks all mixed in with the icing and it was just... not a pretty sight exactly. But, what the hell. I threw some sprinkles on it and called it a day. It's not like somebody makes a cake for Lee every day, maybe he wouldn't notice.
The end result. (Half-eaten, which indicates that it tastes much better than it looks.)
Also, here's a bonus photo of the sweet jack o' lantern that I carved last week.
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