Because America is a heterogeneous nation, filled with diverse people, there are also a wide variety holiday traditions. Nevertheless, each holiday has its own defining characteristics, experienced by everyone, regardless of their family's tradition. Thanksgiving, for example, is generally about eating until you're sick, passing out, throwing up, and then eating some more. But it's also about two other things: making lists of things you're thankful for, and being driven crazy at the hands of your family. (The latter is also a defining characteristic of Christmas/Hanukkah/Winter Solstice, etc.) All of this is just my way of saying that I'm about to make some lists for you, internet. First:
Things My Family Has Done To Drive Me Crazy, So Far
1) I got up early this morning and went downstairs to see if anyone else was up, and happened to notice that something was in the oven. I was a little alarmed at first, until I looked in and realized that they were just rolls that had been put in there to rise over night, apparently. But they were all rising into each other, and 3 of them are trying to come off the pan. So I went upstairs to notify my mom, "Hey, your rolls are rising off the pan." Her response: "Well they'll just have to stay that way for a little while. Snore."
2) When my dad came downstairs, I said, "Mom's rolls are rising off the pan... should we take off these 3 before they get out of hand?" "Nah."
3) My brother keeps saying racist and misogynistic things, not because he's racist or a misogynist, but because he likes to hear me indignantly yell, "Matthew!"
4) My dad has a habit of sitting in one room while I'm in another, and yelling things at me. When I inevitably can't understand what he's saying and end up yelling with "What?!?" he always responds with something weird, like "That's what I thought, too." I think he's somehow tricking me into agreeing to things, and I don't know what they are.
And then of course, we have the companion list, of:
Things For Which I'm Thankful*
1) My family. They're nuts, but they understand me.
2) Lee. (Awwwww. Gag.)
3) Over the past few months, finally feeling comfortable with where my life is now. (Side note: if it takes me a year to become accustomed to a big change, and grad school will only last 2 years, what does that mean for my sanity?)
4) Pretty great coworkers who have become pretty great friends.
5) Old school friends that I've managed to keep in touch with, in spite of the distance between us.
6) The chocolate pie my mom made last night.
7) The fact that my car is still running just fine, in spite of the fact that it now makes no less than two strange noises, and I have a burnt-out headlight.
8) Free packets of instant hot chocolate in the break room at work.
9) Cereal.
10) That one pair of perfect-fitting pants I found at Target last month. (Dear Target, Let's get married. Love, me.)
And finally...
11) You, internet! Sure, you very seldom reply to all my love letters and overtures, but you've shared so much with me, and you have no idea how much good this here blog does me, in spite of the fact that all I'm writing is drivel.
*Who didn't end her list title with a preposition?? Me! High five!
Also internet, if you get a chance, why don't you tell me what you're thankful for, and/or what it is about your family that makes you crazy? And be sure and have a happy Thanksgiving!
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