Yesterday I meant to work on grad school applications, but I had one of those freakouts where I decided that NOTHING was going to get done until I cleaned my damn apartment. It was warranted, I think, because it had been a slightly embarrassing length of time since I had last cleaned. For example, I don't think that I should mention in public how long it had been since I had washed the dishes... how long they had lingered in the sink, waiting for someone to pay attention to them, and how when I finally washed them, I was not even sure what I had eaten off of them in the first place, because that's how long it had been since I did the dishes.
Anyway, one of my major goals yesterday was to take care of the clogged drain in my bathroom sink. This is simultaneously very exciting (because I've never had a clogged drain to call my own!) and extremely boring (because ew, clogged drain). I'm not entirely sure how the sink drain got clogged in the first place. I'm thinking that part of the problem might be that I blow-dry my hair right over the sink, and maybe while I'm distracted by my reflection in the mirror (shiny!), some individual strands of my hair jump ship and make for the sewers.
Lest you think that I am so kind of martyr for cleanliness, I want you to know that by no means did I go sticking my hands in that gross drain, or dismantling pipes, or any of that nonsense. No. What I did do was, I went and bought a $7 bottle of Drano Max Gel*, poured it down the drain, and let it do my dirty work.
*Drano is not paying me to write this post. Don't worry, I haven't sold out!
I'm very appreciative toward the Drano for saving me from having to get my hands all icky. On the other hand, I now also have a new-found respect, bordering on fear, for Drano Max Gel. For one thing, there are notices all over that bottle, warning you not to ever let the gel touch you, or any of your loved ones, or any of your possessions. It even goes so far as to suggest that you really shouldn't look at it directly.
Given that it's "professional-strength" (i.e., it will burn the skin off of your child's face if you're not careful), I don't understand why it instructs you to use HALF OF THE BOTTLE all at one time. (That's $3.50, right down the drain! And for once, I mean that literally!) It also says that you should slowly pour your half of the bottle into the clogged drain. Even if it hadn't said to do it "slowly," I would have had to anyway because, um, Drano? My drain is clogged. Where is the Drano Max Gel supposed to go, exactly?
So I stood in my bathroom for 20 minutes, pouring a little of the Drano Uranium Derivative into my sink, waiting for it to sink down the drain, and then pouring again. I don't know if the bathroom was maybe not as well-ventilated as it should have been, but it started to feel kind of trippy. Watching that stuff sloooowly drain is kind of like watching an egg yolk slip through a colander. Also, every once in awhile there would be a bubble in the gel, which I guess indicated that it was making some progress down there. But the bubble wouldn't pop, because that gel is hardcore, and I couldn't reach down and pop it, because I was afraid I'd lose a finger to the Professional Strength, so I had to just sit there and will it to pop with my eyes. And then on top of everything else, all this time spent standing over my sink really got me thinking about what must be down there, clogging everything up, and between that and the egg-yolk-iness and the weird smell, I started feeling sort of nauseous.
But, finally half of the bottle had been sent down the drain, and I was free to go do other things while I waited the recommended 15 minutes for it to do its thing. Then, as directed, I flushed it with hot water and I'LL BE DAMNED, that drain drains just like you'd expect it to (which is to say, in less than an hour). So, all in all, I'd say that I have to give Drano Max Gel a thumbs-up for effectiveness, but an F for consumer friendliness, since it kind of frightened me and made me feel sick. The worst part is, I still have half the bottle sitting under my kitchen sink with the rest of the cleaning supplies, and I'm kind of afraid to even open the cabinet, because I don't want it to feel like I'm challenging it and then charge me like an angry bull. If anyone out there has a clogged drain and needs some of this stuff, I'll give it to you for free, but you'll have to come get it yourself. I've taken too many risks already.
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