1) Getting stabbed
2) Ebola virus
3) Being a Russian bride
4) Your pet getting run over by a car
5) Accidentally running over an animal with your car
6) Universal health care (apparently)
7) Grey's Anatomy
8) That fish that can swim up your urethra
9) Any time spent not making sweet love to Clive Owen
10) Dying before you've had a chance to burn everything you don't want your family to see (like that giant porn collection you have, Good Lord, what is with that?)
11) Getting drunk at a frat party and giving in to demands that you kiss your best friend only to see it posted on College Humor the next day and realize what a huge tool you truly are
12) Racism, OBVIOUSLY
13) That thing where you get bitten by a spider and then your skin rots for no reason
14) Touching a doorknob that some asshole has hooked up to a car battery
15) Being stricken with sudden, violent diarrhea while you're in a public place
So. Let's just all keep that in mind.
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