A Typical Day At Work

People often say to me, "Miss, what is it that has made you the extremely efficient and successful young woman that you are today? Your secret! Reveal it to me!" To be honest, this is a very aggressive way to ask someone for advice, but I try not to judge. Up until now, I've managed to keep my methods a secret, but I've had a change of heart. I love my fellow man and woman, and I want to see them succeed, and as such, I think it's only fair that I share with them whatever advice I can. And so let me lay out the simple steps that get me through my workday:

1) Come in to work, log into gmail. Stay logged in for the rest of the day, because you may get some important email, or someone may want to talk to you over gmail chat about something important.
2) Check work email, check work voicemail, look over your list of tasks for the day.
3) Get started. Work diligently on your task for at least 30 minutes. (OK, 20 minutes. 10 minutes? Oh hell, just move on to step 4.)
4) You catch something out of the corner of your eye. What's this?? You're delighted to find that it's the internet!!
5) Go ahead and google something fun. Examples include: your favorite blogs, pop culture websites, facebook. Even if you know the actual web addresses of these things, it's important to access them through google. Remember: It's not actually time wasted if there's no record of it in your web-address-tool-bar-thingy. (Try to forget that it's all still there in the history, though.)
(Note to self: clear the web browser history on your work computer.)
6) Something else catches you out of the corner of your eye. Oh no! It's the task you were in the middle of when you got caught up in the soothing glow of Father Internet! (Married to Mother Earth, they are the givers and takers of all life and knowledge.) Get back to work! You don't have all day, you know!
7) Repeat steps 3 thru 6 for 8 hours or so.

I know it's unbelievably simple, but this is how I do it. Now go forth, take this method, and make it your own.