Q. How long can babies scream?
A. One and a half hours, at least, bless their shrieking hearts. Coincidentally, this is the length of a plane ride from Nashville to Houston.
Q. How are things in the Dominican Republic these days?
A. Not so good, if we are to believe the eager young lady on my plane who was delivering a monologue to her seatmate regarding her recent mission work in "The D.R."
Q. What other information can young missionaries offer us?
A. Well, this one in particular is "a strong believer in the power of prayer." She also believes that the humidity level in locations like the gulf coast keeps people looking young.
Q. Are your views on public v. private education realistic?
A. No. As a matter of fact, I have it on good authority that I become "irrational" when talking about this issue in particular, and that what I need is "another 10 years in The Real World." (As an aside, may I just add: *sigh*.)
Q. Aside from the occasional good-natured heckling directed toward budding social workers, what is Lee's uncle like?
A. He is a very friendly and generous man who knows good meats and cheeses when he sees them. Also, tall.
Q. How much cheese is too much cheese to consume in one day?
A. This is a trick question. There is no such thing.
Q. What are Lee's views on fresh mozzarella cheese?
A. Apparently, it grosses him out that it's packed in water.
Q. What's all this I keep hearing about "death panels"?
A. I believe you have come to the wrong question-and-answer session. Perhaps you were looking for this?
Q. Can you swim?
A. No. Interestingly enough, I have not somehow become a good swimmer since the last time I tried.
Q. Can you at least tread water?
A. Listen, I have a lot of other very useful skills, OK?
Q. What do oysters Rockefeller taste like?
A. Like elastic mouthfuls of briny protein marinated in the joyous tears of angels and then covered in cheese.
Q. Seriously though, these questions have very little to do with your experience in Texas.
A. That's not actually a question, but nevertheless, I shall address it. I had a great time, and it was exceedingly nice of Lee's uncle to let me come stay at his place and hang out with him and Lee for the weekend. (Lee's been working for his uncle in Houston for the past month, I don't know if I mentioned that or not.) I got to wander around the biggest mall I have ever seen ever, I ate raw oysters (and oysters Rockefeller), and I got to see all the thrilling sights and sounds of Houston and Galveston.
Also, we went to this restaurant called Ragin Cajun that serves cajun-style fried food, and it was delicious. And, to activate the drink machine, all you had to do was kind of wave your hand in front of the beverage of your choice! I swear, the things you see in the big city. I don't know how people get used to it.
(By the way, my brain-damaged gerbil wasn't dead when I got home! He's still tilting his head to the side all the time, but he doesn't seem too bothered by it, so I've resolved to stop worrying and just think of it as a new endearing quirk. Hooray!)
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