Not that anyone asked, but I'm not really making New Year's resolutions this year. I believe it was a year or two ago that I began to think about how making small goals throughout the year might be more productive than making one-time resolutions. For awhile I was doing monthly personal goals, and that was kind of fun, actually. I don't know if I'll commit to doing that again this year, just because I get so caught up in school and other responsibilities, but I do know that making big New Year's resolutions isn't really for me. From my experience it seems like it's just a lot simpler and more effective for me to set individual, concrete challenges and carry those out. For instance, I'm thinking mostly of the running goals I pursued this past year.
That being said, I realized today that if I were going to shoot for an overarching lifestyle change this year it would be to say yes to myself more often. This thought came to me partly from that video about embracing vulnerability that I posted earlier this week, and partly from the knowledge that I am constantly having great ideas... and then talking myself out of them. I'm not sure what it is, really, other than an extremely bad habit. Whatever the reason, I do it about 30 times a day.
Maybe I'll throw a potluck at my place! ... No, it's a lot of work, and it would be hard to find a good time for everyone to come, and what if nobody wanted to come?
I'd like to print out some pictures for my desk at work ... No, it will take forever to find good ones, and then I'll have to go the store, and then it'll cost money. Plus, what if my officemate thinks the pictures are silly?
I should call that friend from high school ... No, what if she's mad at me for forgetting to congratulate her after her wedding? What would I say to her? I'll just wait and see if she gets in touch with me first.
I'm going to join this running group! ... No, they're all probably faster than me and running in the cold weather is probably too hard. I'll just try to run on my own when it's warmer.
When I see it in print like that, it seems pretty clear that I talk myself out of things because I'm doubting myself. I suppose I could focus on "believing in me!", but that's a little too amorphous to be a good goal, I think. Plus, I don't want to think of myself as a downtrodden children's hockey team in need of a pep talk from Emilio Estevez. It's more uplifting to think of myself as an adventurous ringleader in simply needs followers. From now on, whenever I think of something that requires me to be spontaneous or adventurous or even... vulnerable?, instead of hearing a sad trombone in response, I hope to hear a spunky and unquestioning sidekick.
Take up scrapbooking? Yes!
Drive to the beach at the drop of a hat? I'll get the keys!
Start a cheetah rescue in my walk-in closet? Best idea you've ever had, boss! Here, put on this chain-mail cheetah-wranglin suit!
Me and my crew of enthusiastic yes-men (who I imagine as a cross between Dobby the house-elf and Victorian-era English street-children) will take the world by storm!
(By the way, speaking of "self-doubt" and "believing in myself," have you seen this commercial? It's my FAVORITE.)
(GEICO, I eagerly await my endorsement check.)
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