San Antonio is Nice, Even on 4 Hours of Sleep

One thing I've noticed during the time I've spent in Texas is that there are more state flags displayed here than in any other state I've ever visited. Is it because the flag is so iconic? Is it because Texans want to make sure that visitors remember to associate all of their excellent experiences with Texas? Or is it because Texans are afraid they'll forget what state they live in? (Just kidding, Texans! Keep reading, please!)

I had a lot of time to reflect on these things during our adventure yesterday, which featured (in addition to waking up at 4:30 am) roughly nine hours of riding in the car. I may have been flying by at 70 miles an hour for most of it, but I did get to see a nice swath of Texas yesterday. At least, the parts by the highway, anyhow.

First we woke up and got coffee and biscuits at Whataburger, which is a fast food chain here in Texas that Lee somehow pronounces in a way that makes it sound like "Waterburger!" I don't know, I can't figure it out. The coffee was a condition of my cooperation that morning. The biscuits were just a bonus. Then we drove for almost 4 hours to a small town where Lee had some lawyering to do. Going in the courthouse kind of stresses me out because there's a security guard and a metal detector, and a lot of people who either look out of place and depressed, or who are wearing suits and talking lawyer-shop. I know all of this from the last time I went with Lee on one of these trips, so this time I elected to stay in the car and read. It was still early in the morning and I had a massive 700-page book with me (The Dark Tower, if anyone wants to discuss it with me (PLEASE DISCUSS IT WITH ME)), so it was pretty enjoyable except for the fact that the sun, and the temperature, were quickly rising. By the time Lee came back to the car I was sweaty and ready to hit the road.

Step two was a two-hour drive to San Antonio, during which we passed through Austin. Hi, Austin! Bye, Austin! Perhaps I'll get to visit you someday. Lee had more lawyer business to attend to, so this time I sat on a bench in the hallway and read. Good times. After that, we were finally done with all Lee's responsibilities and free to wander around the city a little. We had lunch at an awesome German deli called Schilo's, which I would definitely recommend. I had a turkey, pastrami, and salami sub, and some delicious hot German potato salad. Lee had chicken and dumplings, I think. I spent a good part of the afternoon testing my iphone's camera so I could have taken a picture of the food for you, but I was too busy eating it.

After that we walked up and down the River Walk, which was gorgeous. It's below street-level and beautifully landscaped with fountains and flowers, and even if it weren't it would have been worth it for how much cooler it was than the sidewalk. Unfortunately, we didn't get to dawdle for too long because we had to get the rental car back by 6, but I guess it was for the best because I wore some slightly uncomfortable flip flops and I was ready to sit down anyway. Regarding San Antonio, I have to say I was a pretty big fan of what little I saw of it. It has a lot of charm and personality that I feel like some other cities (ahem, Houston) are lacking a bit. If you ever decide to visit, take me with you, because I'd like to spend more than 3 hours there next time.

The final leg of our trip was the 4 hour ride back to Houston, which was a little difficult considering how tired we both were. There was one exciting point where I nodded off for a few minutes, and then suddenly woke up. "Are you awake?" I asked Lee, to which he horrifyingly replied, "Mostly". I asked him to expand upon that, and he told me he had fallen asleep at the wheel for a minute or two. After that, I turned on the radio and made a point of talking a lot.

Luckily, we got back safely and everybody took refreshing naps and lived to fight another day. Next time, I'll describe the 2 hours I once spent in a Baltimore airport.

Plan Your Dream Vacation!

Due to several long and involved phone conversations with loved ones this evening, I have no time to post anything of substance for you. However, have you heard of wikitravel.org? It's exactly what it sounds like: travel guides to a variety of destinations, written by random people with internet access. Personally, I love reading travel guides because they remind me of all the time I spent poring over them when I studied abroad. Since I found this website, I've planned imaginary trips to New Zealand (sparked by a night of youtube-ing clips of Flight of the Conchords), San Diego, and Austin. So, if you get a chance, go there and search for your dream destination. If you like, you can come back and tell me about it! (Bonus points if you imply that you'll be taking me with you when you go.)

Photographic Evidence

I had planned to tell you all about my new house guest, but time got away from me so that will have to wait until tomorrow. Instead, here are some photos I found that illustrate just how fully-loaded Lee's car was for the trip to Texas.

Note the rear tire, which just barely has enough room to turn without scraping against the wheel well.

Bonus reflection of me taking pictures of a car in a hotel parking lot, like a crazy person.

So there you are. That's what a medium-sized sedan stuffed to the brim with all of one's earthly belongings looks like, these days. I also meant to take photos of the cockpit so that everyone could see how cramped it was in there, but I forgot to. Suffice it to say, every hour or so I would look around for a place to put something (an empty soda bottle, my feet, a gum wrapper), and then be like, "Oh, right." and just swallow it instead.

Finally, as a palate cleanser, here's a photo of the sunset in Mississippi as we sped through trying to make it Louisiana before stopping to sleep:

Questions Answered By My Trip To Houston

(I spent last weekend in Houston, and it was delightful. I only took about 20 pictures, though, and all of them were taken during our day trip to Galveston, so I'm just going to intersperse a few of them throughout this post. Enjoy!)

Q. How long can babies scream?
A. One and a half hours, at least, bless their shrieking hearts. Coincidentally, this is the length of a plane ride from Nashville to Houston.

Q. How are things in the Dominican Republic these days?
A. Not so good, if we are to believe the eager young lady on my plane who was delivering a monologue to her seatmate regarding her recent mission work in "The D.R."

Q. What other information can young missionaries offer us?
A. Well, this one in particular is "a strong believer in the power of prayer." She also believes that the humidity level in locations like the gulf coast keeps people looking young.



Q. Are your views on public v. private education realistic?
A. No. As a matter of fact, I have it on good authority that I become "irrational" when talking about this issue in particular, and that what I need is "another 10 years in The Real World." (As an aside, may I just add: *sigh*.)

Q. Aside from the occasional good-natured heckling directed toward budding social workers, what is Lee's uncle like?
A. He is a very friendly and generous man who knows good meats and cheeses when he sees them. Also, tall.

Q. How much cheese is too much cheese to consume in one day?
A. This is a trick question. There is no such thing.

Q. What are Lee's views on fresh mozzarella cheese?
A. Apparently, it grosses him out that it's packed in water.



Q. What's all this I keep hearing about "death panels"?
A. I believe you have come to the wrong question-and-answer session. Perhaps you were looking for this?

Q. Can you swim?
A. No. Interestingly enough, I have not somehow become a good swimmer since the last time I tried.

Q. Can you at least tread water?
A. Listen, I have a lot of other very useful skills, OK?



Q. What do oysters Rockefeller taste like?
A. Like elastic mouthfuls of briny protein marinated in the joyous tears of angels and then covered in cheese.

Q. Seriously though, these questions have very little to do with your experience in Texas.
A. That's not actually a question, but nevertheless, I shall address it. I had a great time, and it was exceedingly nice of Lee's uncle to let me come stay at his place and hang out with him and Lee for the weekend. (Lee's been working for his uncle in Houston for the past month, I don't know if I mentioned that or not.) I got to wander around the biggest mall I have ever seen ever, I ate raw oysters (and oysters Rockefeller), and I got to see all the thrilling sights and sounds of Houston and Galveston.

Also, we went to this restaurant called Ragin Cajun that serves cajun-style fried food, and it was delicious. And, to activate the drink machine, all you had to do was kind of wave your hand in front of the beverage of your choice! I swear, the things you see in the big city. I don't know how people get used to it.


(By the way, my brain-damaged gerbil wasn't dead when I got home! He's still tilting his head to the side all the time, but he doesn't seem too bothered by it, so I've resolved to stop worrying and just think of it as a new endearing quirk. Hooray!)

My Fairy Godmother Is Trying To Protect Me From Skin Cancer

Over the weekend, Lee and I spent a few days at the beach. It was my birthday present to myself, because I love the beach, and it didn't look like I was going to get to visit it this summer unless I took matters into my own hands. (Not counting the trip I took with Kellie to Florida, but that was more of a shrimp-focused trip than a beach-focused trip.)

Because I am not yet at the point in my life where I go to sleep each night in a big pile of money, I booked 2 nights at a pretty affordable hotel about 20 minutes inland. My basic plan was to get there Friday night, spend Saturday at the beach, check out Sunday morning and then visit the aquarium before heading back home. When I made this plan, it didn't really occur to me that I had given myself only one day in which to complete all of my beach-related sunbathing and frolicking.

Friday night we arrived in the midst of the most intense storm I'd seen in some time. At one point, there was even hail. Welcome to the beach! the hail said as it bounced off the hood of the car. After I went inside the hotel and checked in, we sat in the car and tried to wait out the worst of the storm before we carried our bags in. I called my brother and asked him to check weather.com and tell me what the forecast was for Saturday, my One Shot at lying on the beach. He said that the chance of rain was only 20%, so I was hopeful. I hung up the phone and explained to Lee that we had to get out to the beach as early as possible the next day, so that we could maximize whatever sunshine the day might have to offer.

The next day, we rolled out of bed at around 10am. I looked out the window at a gorgeous day. The sky was clear blue, and the sun smiled kindly down at me. Don't worry! I have many hours of searing, beach-friendly UV rays planned for today! I felt comforted. I didn't even mind that we were going to have to go to Target to buy Lee a new bathing suit before we could go to the beach. While he took a shower, I pulled my hair back into a braid to keep it out of my face during all the great times I was going to be having on the beach. About an hour later, we left the hotel to get some food.

About an hour after that, we had finished eating. It was already noon and we still had to go to Target and get dressed before we could head to the beach. I glanced anxiously out the window. Still here! the sun shined down. I'll be here as long as you need me! Lee and I headed out into the sweltering (yet glorious!) heat to get him a bathing suit. After another 45 minutes, we were back in the hotel, and I began the arduous process of suiting up and thoroughly sunscreening myself.

Around 1:30 I was finished. I looked adorable, and sun-resistant. Meanwhile, Lee had turned on Animal Cops Philadelphia, which I sat down to watch while he finished getting dressed. Around 2pm, he was also ready, but at that point the Animal Cops had found a neglected husky with a big open wound around his neck from a makeshift rope collar, and I was sobbing. Obviously, we had to wait and see if he was going to make it. I was getting nervous about the time rapidly slipping away, but the sun was still peeking around the curtain, so what was there to worry about? Not a thing! answered the sun. Well done on all that sunscreen, by the way!

We finally left the hotel at around 2:30 (I think the husky turned out to be ok) and drove out to the beach. I had never been to this particular beach before, but I assumed it would be like most of the other NC beaches I had been to - pretty low-key, not too crowded, mostly just houses and ice cream shops, and plenty of parking and beach access. I hadn't really considered the fact that a small beach in close proximity to a city might be a little more intense than that. The island was really only wide enough to accommodate about 2 streets and 3 rows of houses, and every inch of it was covered in people and cars. When we stopped at a stop sign, overtanned bikini-ed young ladies with tramp stamps clambered over the hood of our car in order to reach similarly overtanned and drunken young men with tribal tattoos. Also, there was no parking.

After driving around in circles for a little while, we managed to find a parking space that someone was about to vacate. Unfortunately, it was a metered spot and we only had 2 quarters between the two of us. This situation called for an embarrassingly heated conversation with me on the side of "I'll just use my debit card to get a parking pass from that machine over there" and Lee on the side of "That machine probably doesn't apply to the metered spots, therefore my car will be towed and we'll be arrested and live the rest of our lives in jail." (By the way, that little bit of neurotic pessimism is proof positive that he and I are meant to be together forever and always.)

Once we finished arguing, the sun shined down on us with benevolent approval. We trudged out onto the (similarly crowded) beach and settled down. I took off my shorts and tank top and layed down with my book, while Lee looked out over the hazy sea. Twenty minutes later, when I looked up to watch some toddlers splashing around in the waves, their water-logged diapers expanding in their adorable little swimsuits, I realized that my faithful friend the sun was trying to slide inconspicuously behind some clouds. Huh. Where was he going? Peace out, sucka! was the last thing I heard from him that day. I think his farewell may also have been accompanied by an obscene gesture, but it was hard to tell, what with the glare.

Not long after that, I felt a water droplet land on my shoulder. I looked around, curious. "Did you feel that?" I asked Lee. "No, what?" he said. "I think I felt a raindrop." Another one hit my arm. "Seriously, you don't feel any rain?" "No, I don't feel anything." Two more trickled down my back. "Ok, it's definitely starting to rain, Lee." "What are you talking about?? ... oh, I feel it now."

Five minutes later, an hour after we had arrived, it was pouring on the beach.

For a few minutes I looked around, thinking about all we'd been through to try to get to the beach that day - the shopping trip, the sunscreen process, the bickering over parking - and wondering if we could just wait out the rain. Then suddenly I felt something snap inside me, and I burst out laughing. "What?" Lee said, looking at me anxiously. I think he'd been waiting for some sort of outburst on my part, but this wasn't exactly what he'd been expecting. I laughed even harder, looking and feeling like a damn nutjob, sitting in a bathing suit, on a beach towel, in the pouring rain.

"We... we...." I tried to speak. "What?? I can't understand what you're saying!" He looked incredulous. "We... took forever getting here..." I was gasping now, and I could barely see through my watering eyes and the raindrops collecting on my eyelashes. "We took forever to get here... and now... it's raining!" I couldn't stop laughing, and now I was crying, too, rocking back and forth on my beach towel in hysterics. At this, Lee started laughing too, and I wiped the salt and rainwater from my eyes and looked around the beach. People were huddled on their towels and blankets, under boogie boards or umbrellas, trying to avoid getting rain in their faces. A few yards down the beach a large group of beachgoers had sought refuge under the fishing pier.

I looked out to sea and started to calm down. The horizon was blurred where the ocean blended with the stormy sky into a uniform steel gray, not the view I'd looked forward to all day, but beautiful in its own right. After we'd both stopped laughing, and I'd stopped crying as well, we decided to just gather up our things and head back. We squished into Lee's car (which hadn't been towed after all), trailing sand behind us and sliding on the seats, lubricated by water and sunscreen. As we turned the car back toward the hotel and I watched the windshield wipers struggle to keep up with the downpour, I felt more relaxed than I had all week.

On Shrimp and Sunshine

Well, I'm back! I'd like to commend Christa for being the only person who followed instructions and left a comment on my last post. I can only assume that the rest of you didn't comment either because you didn't have the patience to read that far down, or because you think I'm just some kind of trained monkey that dances for free. Either way, there's not much I can do about it, because a) I'll never learn how to write concisely and b) I love being your dancing monkey.

Anyway, as you may recall, I spent last weekend in Florida, and I've returned victorious.

Last Wednesday night I went to bed early so I could wake up Thursday morning at 6:30 to take a shower and get dressed and pick Kellie up from the airport at 8.

No wait, that's what I meant to do. What actually happened Wednesday night was I got a little drunk with Lee to celebrate the end of his exams, and then I woke up Thursday morning at 8am to Lee saying, "Hey, do you know what time it is?" I have no memory of turning off my alarm, but I must have, because it obviously didn't wake me up.

The rest of that day (after the frantic dressing, re-packing, and driving to the airport) was pretty uneventful. Kellie and I met up with her sister Carrie and drove a million miles down to north Florida. The best part about traveling with women as opposed to men is that women don't judge you nearly as harshly when you demand to stop and use the restroom every 45 miles. It wasn't a bad ride at all, until the last 2 hours or so when I got really bored and started eating all of our snacks in an effort to entertain myself. (I was alone with the food in the back seat, which was maybe not the best idea.) When we finally arrived that night, about 8 hours later, we went out to dinner at a lovely bar on the beach. I had a crab cake and fries and a beer. I give that meal a 10 on the satisfaction scale.

Friday morning we slept in a little and then got up and spent some time on the beach. At the time that I was applying my sunscreen, we were planning on lying on the beach, so I took great care sunscreening my delicate alabaster skin in preparation for its first encounter of the year with the sun. At some point during my elaborate sunscreening procedure, however, the decision was made that we were merely going to be walking up and down the beach, rather than lying around. Thus, the majority of my sunscreen was rendered unnecessary when I put on shorts and a t-shirt over my bathing suit. My concern about the sun was not completely unfounded, though, since during our walk I proceeded to burn the bejeezus out of the top of my head, which was the only part of my body I had forgotten to sunscreen. So when I grow some kind of crazy scalp tumor, you'll know why.

Friday night was spent hanging out at the house of some friends of Kellie's dad. These friends live at the next house down the waterway from Kellie's dad, and they're very nice people. Last time I was down there they threw a kind of brunch party with pancakes and fruit and mimosas. This time around it was an evening affair, and there were veggies and crab dip and a fire and a sailboat we got to tour. (Their sailboat, incidentally. Not some kind of black market stolen sailboat that someone commandeered for the evening.) I got a little tipsy and had to play that game where I talk just enough not to seem antisocial but not so much that I say something embarrassing. Does anyone else worry about this stuff when they're drunk? Nope? Just me? Ok then. Moving on!

Saturday we got up and went to the Shrimp Festival, which was the whole reason for the trip. (Well that, and so Kellie and her siblings and her dad could all come together in one place for awhile. But mostly the Shrimp Festival.) For those of you that may be unaware, this is the 3rd Shrimp Festival that Kellie and I have visited together, which I believe in Florida makes us part of a Shrimp-Based Common Law Marriage or something. The Shrimp Festival has a lot of great things going for it. For one, during the weekend of Shrimp Fest, there's this bank that puts out a sign proclaiming themselves 'Shrimply the best!' which then gets a bastardized version of the Tina Turner song stuck in my head for the entire weekend. Nearly as important as that, however, is the event itself. It's a street festival with some booths set up for selling a variety of shrimp-based foods, and others where local artists sell their sculpture, paintings, and photography. There are also antiques dealers selling costume jewelry. And ice cream! This year, I enjoyed a 'shrimp twister' (lettuce, grilled shrimp, and a spicy dressing wrapped in a tortilla). I also ate fudge brownie ice cream in a leaky waffle cone. I took pictures of frolicking toddlers and people dressed as pirates. And I looked at lots of gorgeous art that made me feel brilliant and creative by association.

As if all that wasn't enough to make it a successful day, we spent Saturday night at Kellie's dad's house enjoying beer and rum and delicious grilled ribs with homemade barbecue sauce. (Basically, I spent 75% of the weekend tipsy.) Visiting Kellie's dad's house (which sits right on a gorgeous waterway) always makes me take a serious look at my life and ask myself: What can I do to end up living here?

Lovely screened-in back porch with view of the waterway.

Small dock-thing behind the house.

View from the dock as Kellie's brother fishes. It's just gorgeous, you know, no big deal.

Other questions Kellie's extremely health-conscious and athletic dad makes me ask myself: When's the last time I went to the gym? Why don't I get up at 8 am and bike 13 miles? How will I ever kick this Reese's peanut butter cup addiction? Self-consciousness aside, I always have an amazing time when we go down there. Kellie's dad, in cooperation with the state of Florida, has an uncanny ability to create the perfect combination of sunshine, nature, art, shrimp and booze to reignite my lust for life. So much so that even after I had to get up and ride another 9 hours back home on Sunday, and even after I had to return to a huge pile of work on Monday, I'm still feeling like everything is A-ok.

So... what's been going on with you?

Back From the Big City

First things first: it has come to my attention that my previous black market blog template might have been preventing people from commenting, so I have reverted to one of the Blogger-approved models. I expect you to take advantage of the newly-restored commenting capabilities ASAP.

Also, I'm back from my visit to Philly! It was a really awesome time, I have to say. It's always nice to spend some time with one of your bosom buddies, the kind that you know you can count on, the ones that will always be there for you and love you no matter what and will hardly bat an eyelash when you spontaneously start sharing about your sex life in the middle of a Philadelphia Barnes & Noble.

So, highlights of my trip included our whirlwind diversion to NYC, as well as the Philadelphia Art Museum. Disappointments include the fact that I forgot to eat a cheesesteak at any point during my trip, and also the fact that I didn't see Nicolas Cage even once. Being a southerner from a relatively small town, my favorite pasttime while in Philly was to find differences between here and there and exclaim, "Well! The things you learn in the big city!"

I have a fair amount of pictures but I don't have access to them right now, since I may or may not be writing this at work, so those will have to wait until a subsequent post. But here are some memorable moments that I can share without the aid of pictures...

There was the moment I had on Saturday night, standing around Le Poisson Rouge (the club we went to), holding a $7 beer in my hand and secure in the knowledge that my coat was being given the best supervision that $4 can buy, when I looked around and realized that I had found something really special. Surrounded by casually-dressed hipsters dancing ridiculously to the musical stylings of Max Tundra, it hit me that "going out" doesn't have to be so stressful. It doesn't have to be an endless train of concerns like, "Am I dressed nicely enough? Am I overdressed? Are these shoes comfortable enough to dance in?" And then once you get there it's all, "Is my dancing silly? Am I dancing enough? Am I sweaty right now? What does my hair look like?" (This can't just be me, can it?) Instead, you can go to a place where it's ok to wear your ever-loving SNEAKERS and where the music is so off-the-wall that any way you dance seems perfectly appropriate. I'm just here to spread the gospel, people. This is the way of the future.

Another perfect moment was when, after walking all weekend through snow and ice, rigidly afraid that I was going to fall and break something important, I finally slipped on some ice in the middle of the street. Luckily, I caught myself, stayed upright, and looked super awesome and agile (in my head). Afterward, Kellie shamefacedly confessed, "When you started to fall, instead of reaching to catch you, I moved to get out of your way so you wouldn't bring me down, too. ... I would have helped you up if you had fallen, though." Maybe I should rethink all that stuff I said up there about friends that will always be there for you.

Here is where I remind you that Kellie and I both have what scientists refer to as "birthing hips" or "thick asses." This will be important in the next paragraph.

The third and final great moment that I will share today took place in the art museum, where there are security guards stationed in every major room to make sure you do not try to shove a priceless Degas down your pants. Most of these security guards just kind of ignore you. One of them chastised me for standing in the rocks by the Japanese tea room. But my favorite was the woman who spontaneously asked Kellie and I if we were related. No, we replied, just friends. "Oh," she said, patting her hips, "well you're shaped alike."

Wait! I Just Remembered I Actually Do Have Something Worth Talking About!

So I was thinking about winter, and yes, technically humans can survive just fine in extremely cold temperatures. On the other hand, you can technically eat bull testicles, but that doesn't mean I'm in any hurry to do that, either. What I'm trying to say is: do you think I can get a doctor's note that says I can spend the rest of the winter on my couch underneath a warm blanket?

Anyway, I realized that I did have something worthwhile to tell you all (hence the title): I'm going to be leaving tomorrow morning to visit my friend Kellie in Philadelphia. You may currently find yourself wondering, "Why in hell would you plan a trip to the Northeast in the middle of winter?" Well, I would like to answer your question with another question: where were you when I was booking the flight, you jerk?? Nevertheless, I'm under the impression that one's travels can be very interesting to read about, so if you're lucky I'll think of you and remember to take some pictures or something. Currently on the itinerary are:
1) A trip to New York City to visit with some of Kellie's high school friends and rock out. Ostensibly with alcohol.*
(P.S. I'm also currently accepting submissions on what's the least outsider-y way to refer to said city. "The City?" "New York?" These are the things that keep me up at night. I could also just take the same passive route I take with Lee's parents and just never directly address it.)
2) Visit to an art museum.
3) Dinner with Kellie's mom.
4) Visit to a medical oddities museum!
5) Watching the new episode of House that's airing on Monday night. (I'm awesome.)

Assuming I'm not too worn out when I return, maybe I'll fill you in on these and other adventures. On the other hand, have I mentioned that I still have three more grad school applications to finish by February? Regularly scheduled panicking will return on Tuesday.

*Shit. I just realized my mom is probably going to read this and worry. Don't worry, mom!

Unrelated Facts

This afternoon I started my return journey from Little Rock, Arkansas back to North Carolina. I've just arrived in Charlotte, and I'm waiting for my next flight, which will take me to Greensboro. (If you're from NC, you'll know how ridiculous this is, being a flight that lasts only 40 minutes.)

Next week, I'll be experiencing that glorious time that comes every month to remind me that as a woman I am bestowed with unique and invaluable gifts, chief among them the ability to create and sustain life.

Right now, I would like to buy a pound of fudge at the shop across from my gate, blow this place sky-high, and walk away in a hail of fire (and also eating fudge).

I don't think any of these things are related, but who can say for sure?