When You Hear the Call, You've Got to Get it Underway

I was in marching band in college, and we used to play a lot of older songs from the 70s and 80s at the football and basketball games. We used to play this song, and I really enjoyed marching band, and that is basically the only explanation I can come up with for why I nearly cried today when it came on the radio.



Don't worry, it was a happy almost-cry. Maybe someday, when I finally have my nervous breakdown, we'll look back and recognize this as the first sign that I was losing it.

A Perfect Body

I've got a perfect body, but sometimes I forget
I've got a perfect body, cause my eyelashes catch my sweat
- Regina Spektor

I've been having a hard time with my body lately. I've been trying to lose about 10lbs ever since the holidays, and I haven't been having much luck. Technically, I've already lost these 10lbs about 3 times in as many years, which makes their repeated return even more frustrating. In any case, losing them again has been difficult because the cold weather has destroyed my willingness to leave the house for exercise, and also I have a moral obligation to eat all of the chocolate in North Carolina.

I blame my dissatisfaction with my body on the fact that it's currently 10lbs larger than my arbitrary ideal, but in fact wasn't happy with my body even at my thinnest. My "thinnest" wasn't particularly slim, of course, but it was a perfectly average, acceptable weight, and probably fully 20lbs less than what I weigh now. But at the time I lamented my full hips, my thick thighs, and strong calves. I wasn't petite and top-heavy, and I considered it a serious injustice. (This was in high school, when most things were injustices.) When I look at photos from that time, I want to slap that girl. At this point in my life I don't even aspire to be that thin again, because I think it would be too difficult to maintain. That was probably a major high point in my physical history, and I wasted it. I should have been enjoying myself! I should have worn a bikini everywhere! I should have been taking nude photos every day and showing them to strangers!

Obviously, the irony is that a woman in her mid-30s, or 40s, or 50s, or anyone whose just had her first child, or really any number of people, could look at me now and think how ridiculous it is for a childless woman in her late-20s with a perfectly average body type to be lamenting "the good old days." They have a point. Sometimes when I'm standing in front of a mirror, scrutinizing the line between my eyebrows that comes from constantly judging stupid people, I try to imagine what I'll look like when I'm 80, and remind myself that some day I'll look back fondly on the time when I only had one slight wrinkle.

I also try to remind myself to stop making this face so much.

Likewise, I recently read a piece that was written by a gorgeous woman who had suffered a medical event that left her face substantially changed. She's beautiful in a different way now, but were I in her position I assume there would be days when I would miss the way I once looked, or the ways I used to express myself with my face. (Yes, even that hateful expression up there is something for which to be thankful.) It seems silly to nitpick over superficial things like acne and laugh lines when could suddenly find yourself faced with a much more deeply frustrating situation. And barring a medical catastrophe, that's what happens gradually as we age, anyway.

It's not just a matter of how much worse it could be. It's true that I could weigh 400lbs, or be 80 years old, or have a debilitating disease. It's also true that, regardless of your point of comparison, I have so much to be thankful for and excited about. Yesterday, I ran outside for the first time since early January. I always feel beautiful after I've been running. Not "pretty," not even necessarily "attractive," given that my face is usually beet-red, my hair sweat-soaked and in disarray, and my scent decidedly rustic. Nevertheless, I feel beautiful. The ache in my legs reminds me of their strength, and the rhythm of my lungs and heart are evidence of my vim and vigor, I suppose.

It's good to remember that I can run. I can jump. I can eat spicy food and chew gum. I can wear mascara, and put my hair in a pony tail. I can stand on my tiptoes and reach objects on high shelves. I can crochet, and paint bookshelves. There's a lot of joy to be had with almost any body, if we really look at what we've got and stop comparing it to some past or future ideal self.

Well, would you look at that. I've talked myself into a state of inspiration. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go put on a bikini and run through town. Locals, you have 20 minutes to don your sunglasses.

I'm Just Going to Dork Out Here for a Moment

Expelliarmus, and whatnot! I've just returned from seeing HP7 Part 2! (Or, the final Harry Potter film, for those of you who aren't into abbreviations.)

Not only did I just experience cinematic history, but I got to do so at the Alamo Drafthouse! Or, at least, the one in Houston. I guess the original is in Austin. If you are unfamiliar with the Alamo Drafthouse, as I was until recently, let me tell you a few things about why it is wonderful. For one, they are very serious about not allowing talking and texting and obnoxiousness during the movie. This is nice, because it heightens your movie enjoyment, and protects you from the kind of people who think they are adding to your movie-going experience by yelling at the screen.

For two, they recently developed this pre-show ad to remind people of their serious silence policy (perhaps you've seen it floating around the internet?):



If you're somehow still not in love with this place, let me tell you this: they will bring you food and alcohol. To your seat. During the movie. It's true! I myself had green chile cheese french fries and 2 pints of cider*, all while enjoying the magic of Harry Potter. I swear, it's almost enough to make you want to move to Texas.

Almost.

Anyway, Harry Potter was everything I hoped it would be, with the exception that I wish a little more had been made of the showdown between Mrs. Weasley and Bellatrix. I was most interested to see if they would include the nineteen-years-later epilogue, so I was really excited to find that they did. It was a little cheesy, particularly because some of the actors 'aged up' a little better than others, but it was still totally worth it. All in all, I'd say it was lovely and definitely worth seeing.

Although really, you were going to see / have seen it anyway, even if everyone had said it was awful, right? I mean, it's practically our civic duty, really.

In conclusion, let's just take a moment to celebrate Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood, the unsung (and unsettlingly sexy) heroes of the Harry Potter series.

Aaaaawwww yeah.

*I feel obligated to let you know that for some reason they forgot to bring Lee his food, so we had to flag the waiter down during the show (very risky given the no talking policy!) to remind him. I think we were probably the exception though because it seemed like everyone else was getting their food promptly, and once we let him know it took care of it post haste. Seriously, go to the Alamo Drafthouse! And take me with you!

Netflix and Milkshakes, What More Do We Need?

Since I've missed another day, I guess we might as well let go of the pretense that I'm going to post every day this month. So, uh... welcome to NaBloPoMo 2.0, wherein I post most days in July!

I don't really have an excuse for not posting, but I will tell you that last night I made hamburgers for the first time ever, so clearly that occupied a good deal of my time and concentration. They included ground beef, garlic powder, salt, pepper, and most importantly, shredded mozzerella cheese. They were effing delicious. Since we don't have easy access to a grill here at Lee's place, I had to cook them in pan on the stove, but I'd say they turned out pretty well anyway. I would have taken a picture to share with you, but I was too busy eating them and drinking beer.

Today I didn't accomplish much of note, but I did finally try to run again. I went 4 very slow miles on the treadmill, and I didn't die. My right hamstring is still bothering me, but I think I'll survive. Depending on how I feel, I might make another attempt at running 7 miles on Sunday. Cross your fingers for me!

Tonight I'm trying to see how many different un-Lee things I can talk Lee into watching on Netflix. Thus far I've succeeded in getting him to watch (and more or less enjoy) comedy specials by Craig Ferguson and Janeane Garafalo, and the first episode of the 1980s Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy miniseries. (I should confess that I failed to sell him on the merits of Toddlers & Tiaras*.) (SO FAR.) To top it all off, I think we're going to go get milkshakes soon!

That's really all I have to share with you so far, but there are some fun things coming up this weekend, so I should have stories for you later.

*For now, I leave you with this:

An Assortment of Entertaining Gibberish

Are you familiar with Regretsy? If not, you really should be, as it's a treasure trove of entertainment. For instance, yesterday April, who runs the site, posted this about how Regretsy is apparently ranked higher in Finland than it is in the United States. Since I was supposed to be working, I read all the comments on that post, and as a result I learned a great deal about Finland today. For example, the Finns have a great appreciation for all kinds of music, be it Queen by way of polka...



or Metallica by way of cellos (sorry, embedding is disabled on that one)...

or a simple heavy metal celebration of vodka:



Even when you're the only one who can hear the music you make, there's a place for you in Finland:



(I particularly like that guy because he looks kind of like a Dwarf from Middle Earth, in the best possible way.)

Speaking of things that are musical and wonderful, here's this!



Now, to round out this loose collection of things that amuse me, allow me to repeat something that made me laugh for about 10 minutes straight tonight:

"Every morning, pigeons wake up and they put on a hat and tie and they go off to the pidgery to pidge all day. Just pigeons, pidgin' around."

I would try to explain it, but there really is no explanation. Aaand that's all I have for you tonight! Check back tomorrow, when I'll attempt to make some sense for a change.

(sexy sexy sexy)

Hey y'all. I know that lately I've been posting a lot of videos and not a lot of actual word-type content, but keep in mind that

a) I think we can all agree they're entertaining videos
and
b) Hey, at least I haven't completely dropped off the face of the Earth again, right? RIGHT.

That being said, I have another video/ song for you. I'm sure by now you're all aware of the joy-inducing magic that is "Fuck You", by Cee-Lo, but I worry that perhaps you're missing out on this gem, which is on the same album:



Be aware, however, that listening to this may cause you to spend the rest of the day quietly singing "LOVE GUN!! sexy sexy sexy" to yourself. Enjoy!

Your Guess is as Good as Mine

Among the variety of things that have put a lump in my throat over the past several days (Hello there, Special Lady Time!) is this guitarist and cellist playing Malaguena.



I have no idea what my problem is. I have a sensitive and artistic soul, I suppose.

On a fairly unrelated note, have you seen this? It almost made me cry, too, but this time from laughter!

I Refuse to Resolve, and End Up Resolving not to Refuse

Not that anyone asked, but I'm not really making New Year's resolutions this year. I believe it was a year or two ago that I began to think about how making small goals throughout the year might be more productive than making one-time resolutions. For awhile I was doing monthly personal goals, and that was kind of fun, actually. I don't know if I'll commit to doing that again this year, just because I get so caught up in school and other responsibilities, but I do know that making big New Year's resolutions isn't really for me. From my experience it seems like it's just a lot simpler and more effective for me to set individual, concrete challenges and carry those out. For instance, I'm thinking mostly of the running goals I pursued this past year.

That being said, I realized today that if I were going to shoot for an overarching lifestyle change this year it would be to say yes to myself more often. This thought came to me partly from that video about embracing vulnerability that I posted earlier this week, and partly from the knowledge that I am constantly having great ideas... and then talking myself out of them. I'm not sure what it is, really, other than an extremely bad habit. Whatever the reason, I do it about 30 times a day.

Maybe I'll throw a potluck at my place! ... No, it's a lot of work, and it would be hard to find a good time for everyone to come, and what if nobody wanted to come?

I'd like to print out some pictures for my desk at work ... No, it will take forever to find good ones, and then I'll have to go the store, and then it'll cost money. Plus, what if my officemate thinks the pictures are silly?

I should call that friend from high school ... No, what if she's mad at me for forgetting to congratulate her after her wedding? What would I say to her? I'll just wait and see if she gets in touch with me first.

I'm going to join this running group! ... No, they're all probably faster than me and running in the cold weather is probably too hard. I'll just try to run on my own when it's warmer.

When I see it in print like that, it seems pretty clear that I talk myself out of things because I'm doubting myself. I suppose I could focus on "believing in me!", but that's a little too amorphous to be a good goal, I think. Plus, I don't want to think of myself as a downtrodden children's hockey team in need of a pep talk from Emilio Estevez. It's more uplifting to think of myself as an adventurous ringleader in simply needs followers. From now on, whenever I think of something that requires me to be spontaneous or adventurous or even... vulnerable?, instead of hearing a sad trombone in response, I hope to hear a spunky and unquestioning sidekick.

Take up scrapbooking? Yes!

Drive to the beach at the drop of a hat? I'll get the keys!

Start a cheetah rescue in my walk-in closet? Best idea you've ever had, boss! Here, put on this chain-mail cheetah-wranglin suit!

Me and my crew of enthusiastic yes-men (who I imagine as a cross between Dobby the house-elf and Victorian-era English street-children) will take the world by storm!

(By the way, speaking of "self-doubt" and "believing in myself," have you seen this commercial? It's my FAVORITE.)



(GEICO, I eagerly await my endorsement check.)

Consider This the Christmas Newsletter I'll Never Send

The problem with not posting on your blog for months on end is that once you want to post again, it's hard to decide what to do. Should you post excuses for your absence? Updates about what everyone's missed? Or just something unrelated but really interesting, in the hope that no one noticed you were gone in the first place? Well friends, as a consummate overachiever, I've decided to provide you with a combination of all three.

First up, excuses. So of course there was school work, and several trips out of town. Then there were the holidays, and more travel. I've also been a little depressed, which makes it harder for me to write. Plus, the longer I went without writing, the more I debated what to write. As you can see, I have PLENTY of excuses.

Secondly, updates. Since I last posted, I've run two races: a 10k (6 miles) in October and an 8k (5 miles) on Thanksgiving. The Thanksgiving race resulted in the fastest per-mile pace I've ever had in a race, around 11:30. To celebrate, I spent the next 4 weeks not running, so now I'm trying to get back on track, slowly but surely.

I finished the Fall semester without having a nervous breakdown, which was my primary goal. I also accomplished my secondary goal, which was to get decent grades in all of my classes. In addition, I attended two professional conferences, met a bunch of people I admire, and didn't embarrass myself. (I wore a pencil skirt, and if that doesn't automatically make me competent and professional, then I've been lied to by women's magazines for years.)

I visited Lee in TX for a couple weeks, which was AWESOME. I ate at three different Mexican restaurants (one of them twice) in a span of 11 days, so I think it was a pretty successful trip. I'm just sad that I have to wait another 3 months before I can see him again. I spent Christmas with my family, which was nice because they're my family, but stressful because they're my family.

Both of my pet gerbils died, one in his sleep and one due to some kind of gerbil cancer. I cried over both of them, which was unexpected and traumatic. But now, my heart is beginning to heal and I'm considering getting a Betta fish (which is essentially a step down, to Remedial Pet Ownership).

I bought a new car, which means now I have to get rid of my beloved Miata, but ultimately I think it's for the best. Now I have a back seat and a larger trunk, the better to haul illicit cargo. Also, if I ever get my pet-owning shit together and get that dog I've always wanted, I'll have room in my car for him/her to go on adventures with me. It's all about the 10-year plan, people.

Most recently, I spent New Year's Eve with my pal MB. We had Ethiopian food and spent a few hours at a bar, and then came back to my place and played Pandemic, which is a board game she got for Christmas. Basically, all the players work together as employees of the Imaginary CDC to battle infectious diseases all over the globe. We beat the diseases twice in a row, so I imagine we'll both be getting calls from the Actual CDC in the next few days. I can't think of a better way to ring in the New Year.

Currently! I'm gearing up to head back to work at my research assistantship starting tomorrow, and back to classes starting a week from now. I'm also painting a bookcase and ignoring the work that I'm supposed to be doing to prepare for tomorrow. Finally, I'm thinking about how much I love everyone reading this right now.

Now that we're all back up to speed, I want to leave you with a video. This is a TED talk that's been linked on a few blogs I read. It's a woman with a PhD in Social Work talking about embracing vulnerability, so I kind of felt like she was speaking directly to me. I really enjoyed it, and I hope you do too.

And This is What You Hum, You Hum...

Since my last post about running music garnered some positive feedback (in real life) (shut up, yes it did), I thought I would post some more stuff that gets me pumped when I run. These are both on the album Keasbey Nights, which I have listened to for a many a run.

(Note: If loud and fast isn't your taste, you might want to skip this one and go read a book instead.)





Speaking of many a run, my current music is getting a little stale. If anyone has any recommendations for power songs, let me know. You can tell it's a good song if
a) it would work as the soundtrack to an 80s sports movie training montage, or
b) it might inspire a music video about misfits stickin it to the man.

Happy Friday Night!

This is almost exactly what I'm doing right now...



SHAKE IT!

Today's Post Sponsored By My Inner 12-Year-Old Schoolgirl

It's been awhile since I updated everyone on the latest embarrassing thing to make me (almost) cry, so here's a new one for you:



(Sorry for the janky video, it was the best embeddable one I could find.)

Today on "What's New In Humiliating Tears" we have a classic by young country artist Taylor Swift. I had all but forgotten about this particular sob-inducer until it came on the radio a couple days ago. Based on past evidence, Miss Swift appears to have a direct line to my Hormonal Cry Center, and I'm just about sick of her shit. I'm 95% sure that all of her sappy, nonsensical love songs are specifically intended to neutralize my powers of skeptical cynicism but I'M NOT FALLING FOR IT. Know this, Taylor Swift: every time one of your cotton candy songs gives me a lump in my throat, I redouble my efforts to block out every weak-ass feminine cliche you represent. SO THERE.

Now then. If anyone needs me, I'll be on the couch, watching Pretty Woman.

The Best New Show on Television?!? YES.

I wrote a really long post just now, but it's kind of messy and also I realized that my last post was also ridiculously long, so I thought I'd give you a few videos as a reprieve in the meantime. I don't know if you've heard of or have been watching Community, but it's really good, in my humble opinion. It comes on NBC on Thursdays, but I'm not really sure what time, because usually I'm watching Fringe on Thursdays and I just catch up with Community on Hulu. By the way, did you know that Hulu has old Twilight Zone episodes?? Consider yourself alerted. Anyway, the point is, I should probably watch less TV, but you should definitely be watching more TV, specifically Community. Here are some videos to persuade you:





Can you say no to that? No you cannot.

The Best Medicine

I ran across these videos yesterday and they made me happy, so I thought that I'd share them with you.

WARNING: These videos contain cursing, discussion of poop, and sarcasm.

This Just In

To be added to 'Things That Make Me Cry (Subheading: Joy)' -




A few nights ago I had to make a run to the grocery store down the street. As I was coming back to the apartment, this song came on the radio, and I was so happy I couldn't help myself. The sky was clear and dark, the air was cool, and the music was good, so I put my windows down and just kept driving. Anytime I drove past people running or walking on the sidewalk, I turned the radio up so they wouldn't miss out.

Hot damn, if moments like that aren't what life is all about, then I just don't understand the world.

Two Inappropriate Things for Tuesday

I just want to quickly share two very important things with you. First off, you should know that whenever this song comes on the radio, I and embarrassingly enthusiastic little dance in my car...



... and I'm not nearly as ashamed as I ought to be.


Secondly, I think about this scene from Grandma's Boy more often than you'd imagine.



At any given moment the probability is pretty high that in my head, I'm drunkenly singing 'Push It.'

Now, on with your day!

What Next? The Jonas Brothers?

I have a couple of confessions to make. One of these, I've been carrying around for quite some time, and I think I'll feel better if I just get it out.

The following two songs have almost (almost, dammit!) made me cry, on numerous occasions:

1. '1, 2, 3, 4' by Plain White T's
2. 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift

Let that sink in for a moment. TAYLOR SWIFT. What is she, 12 years old? I confessed this to Kellie months ago and she still loves me, so I thought I'd go ahead and share it with the internet. I'm posting videos of the songs below in case you're unfamiliar with them, or if you just want to listen to them and imagine me crying in real time.

Plain White T's:


Taylor (ack!) Swift:


I'm usually fine listening to 'Love Story' until the tempo picks up and the key changes and she sings this verse:

"He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
and said, 'Marry me Juliet,
you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress,
it's a love story baby just say yes.' "

Sigh.

SWEET LORD I'm a tool.

In an attempt to gain back at least a modicum of my previously prodigious street cred, let me just point this out: the shittiness of Taylor Swift's lyrics is not lost on me. The entire song is, as far as I can tell, based on a comparison between her relationship (with some guy in her gym class, no doubt) and the relationship between Romeo and Juliet. It even includes this brilliant lyric:

"You were Romeo, I was a Scarlet Letter, and my Daddy said, 'Stay away from Juliet' "

What does that even mean?? Every time I hear that line I think, Taylor, you've never read either of these literary masterpieces, have you? So alright. Maybe sometimes I am moved by essentially meritless pop music. And perhaps there's nothing more than a few curse words and a truckload of sarcasm preventing me from turning into a character on a Disney Channel sitcom (like Hannah Montana, except they'd call me Weepy Willow). But at least I still know a nonsensical literary reference when I hear it, so don't you DARE say I've gone soft.

Gratitude, Days 24 and 25: Warm Weather Edition

Once again I've missed a day, so you know what that means: Double-Up Gratitude Extravaganza! Are you ready? Brace yourself!

1) First off I would like to be thankful for the fact that I finally buckled down and got some work done yesterday. I would also like to be thankful for the realization that even though I spent several days gnashing my teeth and wailing about how I didn't want to do that work, once I got down to doing it, it really only took me a couple of hours. Sheesh.

2) After work yesterday I went to my parents' house for dinner. Getting to my parents' house from my place involves a long stretch of rural highway, and I drove the whole way with the top down on my car, basking in the setting sun and writing a poem in my head about how I'd like to make love to Spring and Summer. (Preferably in some kind of all-girl three-way. Because I'm pretty sure they're girls.) While driving along in my car with the top down, I smelled some smells that made my heart sing. Among them were:

3) A charcoal grill.

4) Freshly mowed (mown?) grass.

5) Honeysuckle! Mother-effing honeysuckle! If someone would please compile and submit to me a list of places where honeysuckle doesn't grow, I would really appreciate it, as I don't ever intend to live in any of those places.

6) The gorgeous weather continued today, so I wore a tank top, skirt, and flip flops. I'm all for any weather that allows me to perform my day-to-day activities wearing as little clothing as possible.

7) While half-naked, I looked at some apartments. I managed to find a really nice place that Future Roommate and I can actually afford, so now if I can get her approval, we can submit an application and I can move on to worrying about something new.

8) Let's take a quick one-item break from all this talk about the nice weather. I am also thankful for the fact that even when I'm in the midst of explaining to Lee how I am completely right and he is hopelessly wrong, we can still make each other laugh.

9) Back to the good weather! This evening, as the sun was setting, I went for a run. Call me unimaginative, but I really can't think of many things more soul-soothing than listening to some chill music and setting out for a run at dusk on a warm day.

10) Once I finished my run, I sat down in the grass to stretch in the dark, and the song below came on my ipod, and I was one with the world, and it was good.

Adventures in Stop-Motion

Editor's note: I realized this morning I forgot to do my gratitude stuff last night, but no worries! I'm going to double-up this evening.

I was just checking out the latest posts on geekologie and came across this video that filled me with joy:



I realized that one reason I like it so much is because it reminded me of a few things from my childhood. One is this:



Does anybody else remember that? I love the idea that the world is full of secret magic and inanimate objects come to life when we're not looking. That's probably why I think Toy Story is so awesome, and also why I worry that if I don't tell my bear* goodnight, he'll feel snubbed and get angry and murder me in my sleep. (See also: Child's Play.) Anyway, that video reminded me of this one... did anyone else watch this cartoon as a kid? I was surprised to find that after I thought for a second, I easily remembered the name of a show that I hadn't even thought of in 10-15 years...



Sing it with me now:

Aaaaafter these messages...

*What, like you don't have a stuffed animal or two that you sleep with every night? What are you, a monster?

Gratitude, Day 13

Let's do this!

1) I love that sweet, sleepy, faraway voice that people use to answer the phone when they've just woken up.

2) Today, just when I was needing it the most, someone came along and let me talk about my troubles and get things off my chest. It was nice of the universe to provide that for me, rather than just letting me sit and obsess on my own.

3) Sometimes my boss is just so nice and cheerful that it makes me feel better about life.

4) I'm grateful that I have my own office, and that I don't have to deal with all of the hard times associated with working in a cubicle. Since I'm not really a recognized expert at anything (other than being awesome! yeah!), I'm pretty lucky to have such luxury.

5) Watching My Name Is Earl makes me feel like everything in life will work out just as long as you try to do the right thing. What can I say? I'm impressionable.

And since today's list has been pretty wholesome and lame, here's this, just to liven things up... (It's old-ish, but one of my favorites, by far.)